I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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