508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize