I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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