fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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