Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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