He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I fill condoms, not promises.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
