evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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