Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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