You smell like stripper and shame
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just want to make out with him forever
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
