dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
