Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
thus making me awesome and them whores
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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