I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
