And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
