I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
