Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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