I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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