So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
