the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
