He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
So vagazzling was a success
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
