oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
