Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
