Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
He uses pillows to masturbate.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
