I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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