Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
