Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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