Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
