So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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