on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
