using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
