so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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