break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
