I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
