so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My vagina just recognized that song.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize