East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
