May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
