clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
