dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My breasts were aching with rage.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize