her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
