first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
