you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
he told me I talked like a deaf person
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
