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are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
