gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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