Pappa wants mamma naked
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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