apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
vagina is talking i cant
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
