"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
