Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize