Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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