haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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