I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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