I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
