I'm eating all of the evidence.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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