my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize