I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
