all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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