I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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