oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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