walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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