Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
She's JV to your varsity
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
