i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
