So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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