her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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