did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
