She said her name was "party"
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
