Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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