dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
she pinky promised me she was 18
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize