toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I have post one night stand depression
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