His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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