i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
