the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize