Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
