she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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