I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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