Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
