Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize