Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize