I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
